Cassette Tapes, Linkin Park, Chicago

(Translated from the Chinese version with the help of Claude.)

Today I had some rare free time, so I decided to string together and record some old stories that I’ve been reminiscing about lately.

Back in middle school, everyone was still listening to music on cassette tapes. Do kids nowadays even know what those are? They looked like this 👇:

Rewinding, getting tapes stuck, flipping sides - these terms are probably going to fade into history. Friends would often exchange tapes to listen to popular songs. The NOW (that’s what I call music!) series was very popular back then, with covers that all looked like this:

One of them included Stephen Gately’s “New Beginning,” which classmate A jokingly called “New Bikini.” I just looked it up - the singer passed away in 2009, RIP.

During English class, the teacher would bring a tape recorder to play the textbook’s accompanying cassette tapes. Sometimes during breaks, I would borrow the teacher’s tape recorder to “broadcast” some popular music tapes in the classroom. Looking back now, that was quite audacious behavior - thank you to my other classmates for their tolerance 🙏 When we heard David Tao’s “Angel,” naive young me said to classmate B: “Like a boat drifting on the sea, can’t even see the North Star,’ ‘A person drifting in a sea of people, can’t find anyone to talk to.’ These lyrics are so dark!” Classmate B replied (I don’t remember the exact words, but the gist was): “Everyone has this kind of lonely, desolate feeling, that’s why it resonates with people.” It seems I really was too young to understand the taste of sorrow back then. Although I didn’t understand the lyrics deeply, I still loved this song so much that I even sang it during a singing competition at high school military training, though everyone said I sounded like “sweet wine.”

By high school, while I was still listening to cassette tapes, genius classmate C was already using a high-end MP3 player from a brand called iriver that I’d never even heard of. Through his introduction, I - who once couldn’t understand the lonely lyrics of “Angel” - began to encounter Linkin Park, whose lyrics were much more straightforward (RIP Chester).

I remember one time at noon, after finishing lunch in the cafeteria and returning to the dorm, I was washing clothes while noticing that the campus radio station was playing Linkin Park’s “Nobody is Listening.” The commentary from the two DJs still sticks with me - “This song is Linkin Park’s ‘Nobody is Listening,’ just like our program, probably nobody is listening, hahaha…” Dear DJ classmate whom I didn’t know, you were wrong - I was listening then. Just like this article, I’m writing it without knowing how many people will read it, but at least I have to write it first.

Later, before graduating from college, classmate D convinced me to buy tickets to the Beijing joint concert of Linkin Park and Mayday - several hundred yuan, which was a huge sum for me at the time. A few months after buying the tickets, classmate D told me that Linkin Park’s lead singer was injured, the concert was cancelled, and we got refunds. Many years have passed, and I never did get to see Linkin Park in concert, but I did visit a place called Lincoln Park and attended a Mayday concert - both in Chicago.

A recent news story made me feel heavy-hearted (thanks to classmate E for sharing it on social media): Another University of Chicago student was shot and killed. People spontaneously came to the place where he was killed, lighting candles and leaving messages to commemorate him. One message read: “May you be happy in heaven, always happy.”

It seems like many students at UChicago have stories of being in dangerous situations. I once wrote my story on the old campus network (Renren), but I really can’t remember the password anymore, so let me write it again.

We had just arrived in Chicago, and one day after English class, wealthy classmate F said to me: “Come on, come with me to buy a car?” I didn’t think much of it and went with him. We took the subway for a long time, then got off to wait for a bus. Those 20 minutes waiting for the bus were the longest 20 minutes of my life. It was actually only around 3-4 PM, so it wasn’t dark, but the sun was temporarily blocked by a thick cloud. The public sanitation around us wasn’t very good - newspapers and empty cans were being blown around by the wind. The scene was a bit like those in movies where after the protagonist clears out the small fries, there’s a brief calm before the big boss villain appears. The other people waiting at the bus stop were all staring at us, and there were no other Asian faces around. I was anxiously wondering why the bus wasn’t coming yet, worrying about the thousands of dollars in cash that wealthy F was carrying, while also trying to put on a relaxed and friendly expression - it was so difficult.

After a while, the bus came, and my worried heart temporarily relaxed. Finally, we arrived at the seller’s house, paid the money, handled the transfer procedures, made the deal, and drove the newly bought used car home, quite happily. Later, when I shared this nerve-wracking experience from when we first arrived in America with my advisor, he asked me if the transaction took place in a neutral location. I said no, we went to the seller’s house to pay, and I didn’t think too much about it. My advisor replied, “You didn’t think at all!” Looking back now, it really sends chills down my spine.


Life is unpredictable, cherish the present, cherish the people around you, and may everyone be safe.